Days I never want repeated

The last few days and over the weekend have been the most disheartening and uncomfortable to date. Recovery following the hamstring and heel cord operation has been slow and at times felt we are going backwards. It is by far worse than recovery post SDR. Nothing prepares you for how you feel other than talking to mums who have been where I am now.

Dana is now day 5 post op and still is relying heavily on physical support. Her transfers are 90% supported and Dana is starting to side step in the transfers but again is really pushing down for physical support. You know Dana is really trying to take more weight herself, yet she has no strength. She has described how her left leg feels like lead when she tries to lift it.

I can’t see when she will get back to where she was post SDR, when she was doing so well and now we have put her way back. Was this the right thing to do? That question haunts me everyday, seeing her the way she is makes me feel awful. What have we done?

The splints, which we received on Friday are painful and need adjusting. Dana tolerated them for about 3 hrs over 3 days, she was meant to wear them for 8 hrs over 3 days. This in itself may not appear terrible to you, but to Dana it has put her back at least 3 days. During the weekend our aim was to start walking with her frame. As the splints were not tolerated, there was not even an attempt to start walking. So we continue with the stretches and transfers.

Deanna from the therapy department is great at getting back to ask when we email over the weekend to ask about the splints and what should we do/not do.
Her quick response sends a reassuring message to us and I feel we are not alone.
We are advised what to do and follow the instructions.

I am so glad we are staying for a further couple of weeks; the thought of going home at the moment is just too scary. Home is so far removed from my mind as the focus is just on Dana.

I constantly ask myself are there any other stretches we should be doing. I look for the slightest improvement, applying less pressure on me or pushing through on her feet and standing that bit taller.

Thank goodness it’s Monday, the weekend could not have ended quickly enough for me. We are back at physio at 11am and hopefully will see the orthotics team before 11am to adjust the splints and we will have a really good physio sessions.

Seriously, it is so hard at the moment to keep positive. I’m getting fed up of being in the hotel and the restriction of just using the accessible taxi. Tomorrow is the start of a new week and pray it will get better for Dana.